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There’s a lot of social science on this, and it all points to the ideas that men delay marriage and play the field when women are in oversupply.
When it’s the opposite, the culture is more likely to emphasize courtship and romance.
Why make a decision about one woman now when you can keep her as an option and continue exploring the market?
I feel that the ultimatum is a way to push back against the male desire not to make a decision any sooner than he had to.
Birger became curious about his anecdotal experience and wanted to see if there were statistics to back up what his single female friends were going through -- and there were. as a whole, men and women are split about 50/50, but that ratio shifts when you look at the number of college graduates by gender: Women between 25 and 34 are 21 percent more likely than men to be college graduates, according to 2013 data.
All things being equal, if you’re just starting out your career and you have one job offer in Manhattan and another job offer in Silicon Valley or San Jose, and you’re on the fence between the two jobs you’re a monogamy- or marriage-minded heterosexual, my suggestion would be to put these gender ratios on your list of things to consider.
You want it to happen naturally and organically, obviously.
I get that and I get that what I’m saying is highly non-romantic, but I’m making an argument about what I think works, rather than what makes for the best love story.
You argue that ultimatums can help women in this type of environment. In every other part of life -- in business and politics -- everybody understands the power of the ultimatum.
But for some reason, people resist it when it comes to romance.